Written by Merit Okpara
Every time I have this downtime, after days or weeks of being on my lowest point in life, I always feel the need to start again from scratch ; trying my hardest once more to figure out how to go back to happiness where I was before; seek for hidden “notes to myself” that I had written when I felt so inspired and re-read it again just to remind myself that I can always wear the shoes of being happy, I now wait for my feet to finally put those on and walk light-heartedly; find the reasons to fall in love with myself after being so drowned by torment for the past couple of days and be joyful and to celebrate life.
They say that the first step is always the hardest, and no doubt, that’s true. You will feel anxious and doubtful, and those are part of it- for me. There are still days that you will see yourself being afraid of becoming happy again, for it might cost too much in return.
But, during moments of hesitation, I tap myself and say that “life isn’t perfect- it always has its bad times”, for how can we appreciate the good ones without it? And when that happens, I am proud of myself; because it means that no matter how many rainy days I might face, if that isn’t the final curtain call, the fighter in me still has reasons “not to lose the battle.